Nonfiction - The Emptiness Inside.

"he fucks my body---and I enjoy that, I respond with enthusiasm---, but he doesn’t penetrate my soul."

--

Dirty Talkin' Girl over at Pussy Talk writes almost every day. I love her writing. It's sexy and stylish, and quite cerebral. But there was one entry that made me pause. Go read this.

I was blown away by it. It's an honest, soul-baring entry, and one that resonates not just with me, but with many people I know; In real life, and in the online world.

I'm having a hard time writing anything about this besides "go read it". It hits way too close to home. Not because I'm screwing anyone who's empty inside, but because I've been there before. I've looked down, stared at her eyes and seen nothing; and there have been 2 females where I looked down, and saw... something. When the connection was more than physical/sexual/intimate. It was..."more", I guess.

There have been only 2 girls I've made that connection with. And one of them is an ex-girlfriend I can't seem to shake. Not for lack of trying, either.

See, I've just been re-hired to do my summer gig. I got "the call" last week, and have already started re-hiring staff, and doing paperwork. I've got six long months of prep-work ahead of me, before the program itself. The upside? I got promoted. I'm the Big Man, now.

The downside? The person taking over my position, who'll act as my assistant is my ex-girlfriend.

And she's one of the only 2 girls I've ever been intimate with, where I look down, and see something in her eyes. We spoke for the first time in three months last week, when I offered her the job. And the sexual tension is still there. The game has begun anew.

Soul Fuck, indeed.

I've considered writing about my history with Her. Yeah, she gets a name, that's how serious I take her. It's long and complicated and almost never-ending.

It is going to be a very long six months.

You'll hear more about this topic, surely.

--The Already-Weary Bastard