Nonfiction - Thanks, Nick.
Dear Santa, you half-assed miserable git:
So, Christmas came and went. A bit uneven, but I'm not complaining. Truth be told, your track record over the last 10 years has been unimpressive. It's okay, I don't hold a grudge. Not everyone's perfect. (Well, I am. That's what comes from being arrogant and brilliant, y'know?)
Anyways.
Where was I.
Oh yes. "Unimpressive".
I mean, I've gotten older, and I know how this is supposed to work(life, that is), and things change after a certain point in time, and you know you've got stuff to do, and you just...
I dunno.
...
Since the early 90's I've asked you for a number of odds and ends; Some happiness, some hope, a little peace of mind... y'know, the usual. And, for the most part, you've failed me.
Really, no bitterness. Just the way life goes.
This year though, you surprised me. Besides the usual gifts and gift cards (Barnes & Noble and Best Buy) I received a small(very small) bout of peace of mind, and a healthy dose of inspiration.
I am stunned. It caught me off-guard. When you have low (or no) expectations, the smallest things can be a surprise. And that little dose of inspiration, not to mention some real quiet time... it helped.
(Oh, and I don't know what strings you pulled to get Blockbuster Video to FINALLY open a fucking branch 10 minutes away, but crap... THAT was a wonderful gift, too.. We have every conceivable store imaginable within a 5-miles radius, and yet it took forever to get Blockbuster to open. I've watched a shitload of movies the last couple weeks. Fun fun.)
I was pleased.
No, I AM pleased. I don't think I even asked you for anything, and yet you gave me a little bit anyways. I wouldn't mind more, but hell... something is better than nothing.
So, since we as a society normally take things for granted, occasionally forgetting to be gracious and such...
Thanks, you old softie.
And yes, I'll try to be a better person this year.
Sorry, that's the best you're going to get.
Cheers.
-The Ever-Present and Very Relaxed Bastard.
So, Christmas came and went. A bit uneven, but I'm not complaining. Truth be told, your track record over the last 10 years has been unimpressive. It's okay, I don't hold a grudge. Not everyone's perfect. (Well, I am. That's what comes from being arrogant and brilliant, y'know?)
Anyways.
Where was I.
Oh yes. "Unimpressive".
I mean, I've gotten older, and I know how this is supposed to work(life, that is), and things change after a certain point in time, and you know you've got stuff to do, and you just...
I dunno.
...
Since the early 90's I've asked you for a number of odds and ends; Some happiness, some hope, a little peace of mind... y'know, the usual. And, for the most part, you've failed me.
Really, no bitterness. Just the way life goes.
This year though, you surprised me. Besides the usual gifts and gift cards (Barnes & Noble and Best Buy) I received a small(very small) bout of peace of mind, and a healthy dose of inspiration.
I am stunned. It caught me off-guard. When you have low (or no) expectations, the smallest things can be a surprise. And that little dose of inspiration, not to mention some real quiet time... it helped.
(Oh, and I don't know what strings you pulled to get Blockbuster Video to FINALLY open a fucking branch 10 minutes away, but crap... THAT was a wonderful gift, too.. We have every conceivable store imaginable within a 5-miles radius, and yet it took forever to get Blockbuster to open. I've watched a shitload of movies the last couple weeks. Fun fun.)
I was pleased.
No, I AM pleased. I don't think I even asked you for anything, and yet you gave me a little bit anyways. I wouldn't mind more, but hell... something is better than nothing.
So, since we as a society normally take things for granted, occasionally forgetting to be gracious and such...
Thanks, you old softie.
And yes, I'll try to be a better person this year.
Sorry, that's the best you're going to get.
Cheers.
-The Ever-Present and Very Relaxed Bastard.
posted by The Bastard at 8:09 AM
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